tis the season to be merry

The season of baking and candy making is upon us.

Can I get a Ho, Ho, Ho?

I love the whole concept of baking and cooking and creating meals and fixing food.

Of gathering people around my table and feeding them. 
I can loose all track of time watching The Food Network channel. 
And spend hours perusing Allrecipes.com.
I dvr “Chopped” so I don’t miss an episode.
I idolize Nigella Lawson and Paul Deen.
Along with buying groceries, I also throw all the food/recipe magazines in my cart at check-out. My cookbook collection spans two full shelves in my pantry.
One of my favorite movies is “Like Water for Chocolate.”
I once stole a magazine from the doctor’s office waiting room for its really awesome cupcake recipes.     

Yep, you could say it’s a passion with me and I live on the fringe of obsession. 

And you would probably think, given what I’ve just told you, that I’m a great cook.

But, you’d be wrong. 

Sadly, (shaking my head) you’d be wrong.

(sigh)

It’s not that I didn't try. 

Each time I'd find a new recipe, I would be filled with positive intention and anticipation, but then, despite my “you can do this” pep talk, whatever I’d made never turned out the way I thought it should turn out, or looked like the picture, or lived up to the expectation I'd placed on myself.  

Bleck.  
I would always end up raining on my own parade.  

In my defense, I come from a long line of perfectionistic and phenomenally great cooks on my maternal side.  I mean REALLY, REALLY GREAT cooks who made everything from scratch and could turn the simplest ingredients into a (literal) work of art – laying out a spread on the table that had people drooling over the sight and smell alone. 

So the push for culinary excellence is deeply embedded in my psyche. 

And now, it’s the Christmas season. Time to do a little festive baking and candy making – filling decorative plates with delectable morsels. The pictures of holiday delights grace the cover of every magazine on the stands – taunting me.

I can’t avoid it.

Or divert my gaze.
Or stop myself.
It’s literally everywhere I turn.
And I fall victim to the allure – setting myself up for failure.

Because I come from a long line of phenomenally great cooks and think I should be one too.

Until this year.  Yep, "take me out of the oven I'm done" I say.

I sampled these great little Club Cracker Cookies at a Holiday Open House recently.  “OMG” the hostess laughed when I raved about them and asked for the recipe.  “They’re so easy, my 13 year old daughter and her friend made them.

Really? 

My heart skips a beat. 

Easy enough for a 13 year old?
I can’t get into my kitchen fast enough.

And all I can say is stand back and behold girlfriends:

Yep – I made these.

They turned out beautifully!
And they're beyond yummy.

I laughed out loud with glee and delight as they cooled on the counter.

And although I know the long line of phenomenally great cooks that make up my lineage are rolling over in their respective graves, I’m proud of myself.
And I had fun.
 
Years ago I told my husband I wanted piano lessons for Christmas.  So he went out and bought me a piano and 6 months worth of lessons.  I was so touched, I cried.  I went to a month’s worth of lessons before I finally realized that although I love the piano, I was definitely one who was meant to enjoy it rather than play it. 

And that’s okay.

Because we all have the areas we excel in and the areas we don’t.
That's the way it was always meant to be, before we got all caught up in being super powers and putting the pressure to excel in everything upon ourselves.

I can walk into a room and design it from the ground up with ease.  I have an incredible eye for texture and design and color and flow.  Likewise, I am phenomenally great with fashion – and can transform an outfit with a few well chosen and placed accessories.  And I definitely have a gift for talking with people - making them feel welcome and comfortable and at ease. 

So….so what if I’m not exactly a kitchen goddess? 

I love the concept of baking and cooking.

I enjoy watching cooking shows and reading cooking magazines and books.
I enjoy being in the kitchen when I feel like being domestic.
For the simple pleasure of it and the joy it brings me in the way it brings me joy.
I admire Nigella Lawson and Paula Deen - but I'm not them.

I am me.
And that’s more than enough.
So, I’m enjoying my festive little cracker cookies.
Because it is the season to be jolly, merry and bright after-all.

Ho! Ho! Ho!