it isn't you - it's me.

According to statistics there are:

• 800 million active users on Facebook
• More than 50% of active users “log on” to Facebook on any given day.
• More than 2 billion posts are “liked” each day.
• The average Facebook user has 130 friends and is connected to 80 community pages.

Wow.

I’m not one of those 800 million people.
Active or inactive.
I don’t do Facebook (or Twitter) – never have and don’t have any desire to start.
Truth be told, it scares me.

With 800 million active users, Facebook obviously serves a positive purpose for many - I just don’t see it (or want it) for me. It’s enough to live with the daily pressure of being “liked” and accepted out in the world, and although being in my fifties has helped me let go of  ALOT (most) of that, there is still (and probably always will be) a little residual pressure that remains.  I (read *I*) don’t need to add another device to measure myself with or against to the mix.

What if no one liked me? What if I wasn’t the average user and didn’t have 130 friends or wasn’t connected to 80 different communities? Would I take it personally? Would I assume there was something wrong with me and wonder what it was and how I could fix it?  Who I needed to be instead of me?

Would I “log in” each day and base my sense of accomplishment and worth on how many friends I had, how many requests for friends I had, how many "likes" I had, how many things I posted that were passed on from community to community – person to person?

Yea, I would.
Truth be told, I would.
Even though I would love to say I wouldn’t.

I have a tender heart under this strong and confident exterior.
I can be vulnerable that way.
And I'm ok with that.

And what about the “liking” back? What if some of the “friends” on my page weren’t really people I wanted as friends? What if I didn’t really want to be in that circle or associated with those people? In the non Facebook world I can just quietly and discretely avoid them without anyone else knowing. Be polite and courteous in their presence but keep my distance otherwise. Would I have the courage to deny them “friend” status and publicly dislike them or “un-friend” them?

I wouldn’t.
Truth be told, I wouldn’t.

I wouldn’t ever want to hurt anyone’s feelings like that.
Regardless of whether I thought they deserved it or not.
It's not necessary. Or kind.

So I (read *I*) stay away from it.
Because I know myself that well.
What I sometimes (still) struggle with – even being a queen.
How easily I could fall into comparing myself and coming up short.

I won’t do that to myself. It’s not worth the risk. I've done it before and I know how that story ends - not well for anyone and especially me.

So when you tell me how wonderfully awesome it all is for you and encourage me to try it before dismissing it, please understand why I won’t go there. Why I stand firm in saying “no thank you.”

And also, please know it isn’t personal.  It isn't about judging you (or Facebook for that matter) – it’s about me. Selfishly about me and knowing myself well enough to know what’s best for me and likewise, more importantly, what isn’t.

Really.
Truth be told.
You can trust me on this one.