I have become firmly convinced (especially in this last week) that if there is a hell – I’m living in it.
Don't try to change my mind - it's pointless.
Yep – right here, right now in a small unassuming little Midwestern town.... is where hell is located. Sweltering heat, a humidity factor higher than the outside temperature (which is in the high 80’s to start with) and gray, gloomy overcast skies.
The air is so thick and heavy, the moisture of it accumulates on my skin like dew. I can’t move – my body is sluggish. And I can’t breathe. I gasp for air. I wheeze. And sweat gathers in places on my body I didn’t even know could collect sweat.
Yep – this has to be what hell feels like. Outside.
And inside? Another kind of hell for sure. Frigid central air conditioning that sucks every ounce of moisture out of the air – my skin flakes and peels, my throat is dry and hoarse, my contacts dry on my eyes. My hell is a cave – with the windows and doors shut tightly and the shades and curtains drawn.
Yep – this SoCal transplant is having a really (really) hard time dealing with this. I am cranky and irritable. Snappish. Prone to temper tantrums.
I don’t even like my own company.
And I hate my hair. Can someone please explain how hair can be lank and limp and big and frizzy all at the same time? Because to me - it defies logic. (not to mention every hair product on the shelf guaranteed to tame it.)
(drumming fingers on desk)
It sucks to be me.
Here.
In this Midwestern version of hell.
There’s only one thing to do – and I’m off to do it. My husband is hiding somewhere in this meat locker cold that used to be our home.
I’m off to find him.
And kick him.
It’s all his fault.
He’s the one who brought me here in the first place.
Hey – I told you I was cranky and irritable.
Hell does that to a person.
5 comments:
Wow, Ms. Dani...you're sounding a bit "bi-winning" here! First, creativity as a spiritual act and then hell in the midwest.
I suggest that you let the central air run, but open some windows. Between the two, maybe you could close your eyes and do a little California dreamin'. Not as humid here today, but I do feel your pain. You guys keep sending your weather leftovers to PA. Why?
Calm, gentle breezes to you!
Well, you certainly described hell very eloquently:)!
well that sounds shit. sorry it is so hot maybe you need to fly to nz and hang out in the winter with me! i have a new kitten...i will take you to the beach... yes i am a temptress but only coz i love you x
You have described this summer quite accurately-----pure HELL!! Today was the worst yet, it was 115 degrees, which broke all recorded temps in this Arkansas city. No one goes out for anything if they can help it. Appointments are cancelled because the actual temperatures in downtown areas are much hotter than official temperatures. Getting caught in a traffic jam or having car trouble could be deadly. The grass is dead and ugly, there are wild fires, I never turn on the oven, yada, yada, whine, whine.
Fall can't come quickly enough.
So maybe, just MAYBE my friend, you need to have a friend to help you partake of the ever divine Frozen Sangrias?? No food...just frozen goblet after goblet of that suculent nectar of the gods (and goddesses)......look I've lived in He'll much longer than you, I know how to do this!!! :o)
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